I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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