The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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