I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
