College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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