He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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