By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Floor bacon is actually really good
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
