Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
