they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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