shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
