I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
