It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it was like eating out sand paper
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
