Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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