I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize