Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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