My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
