We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Randomize
