College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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