it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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