okay pat passed out under dana's car
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
