It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
