It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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