just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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