How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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