turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
