So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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