You're completely useless in the revolution.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
