I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
