Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There r osticjed everywhere
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
