He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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