I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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