I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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