How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
