Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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