I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
