Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
