don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize