Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if only i could text you this smell
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
