I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
