i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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