Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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