How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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