Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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