she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
