my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
