Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
