even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
