This girl is more easily done than said...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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