First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
