You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
