I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
