that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
