I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
