There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize