I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
3pm strippers are depressing
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize