i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize