I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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