I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
