WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
