Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
