We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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