Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
