mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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