He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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