You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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