I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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