your parents love me but you hate me
So drunk its hurt
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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