Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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