How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It's just like the Real World with babies
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
