PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize